My trinity
I am, three: the brain, the heart, and “me”.
When I was young, I didn’t have much brain, and “me” was nowhere to be found. I mostly ran on the heart. I laughed when I was happy, cried, nay, howled at the most minor inconvenience. The heart was satisfied. The heart was happy.
Later as I grew, the brain grew. It became stronger day after day and eventually wanted to take control of me. The heart refused to let go. The heart thought that, what the brain brought, intelligence, reason, and reason were the mortal enemies of what the heart wanted. Those were some fun times.
The growth of the brain, and the constant in-fighting woke “me” up. “me” initially liked the brain more. So, they joined forces and locked the heart up. To “me”, the heart was his teenage daughter. He loved her, but he’ll do everything to protect the heart. But he didn’t like the heart. So he asked the brain to guard the heart, to both prevent it from escaping and prevent external sources from getting in. The brain had been successful at fending out things as small as some stupid people not being able to read signs, to threats as large as “you are leaving everything you know behind and step foot in a country you’ve never been before”, twice.
“me” thought the brain was doing a great job, so things continued that way. The brain became even stronger as the days passed by, and the heart being protected as if it was the daughter of “me” and the brain.
What “me” didn’t know was the deeply intertwined relationship between the brain and the heart.
One day, the brain was delivering some food to the heart. With the food, there was a metal spoon. Needless to say, the metal spoon was never returned, and the heart managed to dig a tunnel out of its luxury prison.
The heart hadn’t had this much freedom for 10 years. It ran rogue. It hurt people and hurt itself, too. “me” was confused. “me” thought the brain had been such good guardian of the heart, that the heart was satisfied in its little mansion, and the world would never have to see it. Man was he wrong. The heart was not satisfied. It wanted to feel. It wanted to be happy, sad, joyful, devastated, angry, and peaceful. It wanted to experience all emotions humanly possible. So it convinced the brain to help. The brain, being the brain, saw the reasoning behind it, and made the rational decision to let the heart escape.
Eventually, the brain brought the heart back. “me” didn’t get angry at either of them. He thought the brain was right to let the heart explore the world, to give the heart the opportunity to feel and strengthen. But he had to take accountability for the heart’s actions. So he took the brain and the heart, and apologized to everyone they hurt.
In the end, “me” apologized to the heart, and promised that it will always be heard, recognized, and free. “me” promised that he will change from a commander, telling what the brain and the heart what to do, to a mediator, helping the brain and the heart work in harmony.
If the brain is rationality, the heart is desire, then “me” is self-awareness, the ability to think about thoughts, reason about reasoning, judge my judgements, feel the feelings, and desire desires.