ICLR 2026 no more
Perhaps a month ago, one Saturday evening, I went to the office. A collegue of mine happened to be there as well. I was doing some work, and he wondered over, asked me how my research was going. “Eh it’s going”, I said. He then proceeded to say “You know ICLR? It in Brazil next year. You wouldn’t wanna miss it”, and went back to his desk. Little did he knew that brief conversation planted a seed in me, and the seed grew. Five minutes later, the idea that “I am going to ICLR” had rooted itself deeply in me.
Oh, Rio de Janeiro! My mom always told me that she must go to South America once in her life. Yet, the distance, 20000km, is the ultimate obstacle. I viewed this conference as an excellent opporutnity to travel to South America (mind you most of the expenses will be covered). I must go to ICLR 2026!
So I worked nonstop, lost track of day and night. That deep desire to publish and go to Brazil was something that I had not felt in a long, long time. I felt the fight without the flight. Inject ICLR into my veiiiiin!!!! Yet the method just, never consistently worked. Each time I was about to give up, lady science would give me a glimmer of hope. Each time I pivoted away, lady science pulled me back to the start. This went on for two weeks, until the beginning of September. Countless times I have considered not being truthful about the results. “If I said our method worked 2% better instead of 1%, my supervisor will let me scale up the experiments.” I feel disgusted by the fact that such thought had entered my brain at all.
Eventually, excitement, optimism, and desire wore off, leaving me with nothing but the reality. I am not sure exactly when I let go of that desire. But since then I have been able to say, with no frustration or disappointment that, “alas, it is not my time yet.” I finished a summer report, sent to my supervisor, and there was almost closure.